Sweet Suffering

Life can be bitter sweet and so many times we may feel like we are always in the fire. But how do we respond when we are in the fire of suffering?

Lately, it seems like things have heated up throughout the world with pandemics, protests, plagues and heart wrenching pain. I have witnessed people react in anger, hurt, and fear, which usually makes matters worse. I have had to constantly check my own emotions and responses. And frankly, I have not been happy with myself, as I result I have had to repent and make some quick adjustments as I do not want to be sucked into the darkness and leave open doors for the enemy to ransack my life. I have concluded that I, along with many others, need to learn to suffer better. Therefore, I have below a chapter from my book, Purpose to the Pain, which I first wrote as a blog post during a period of intense frustrations.

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I have asked many times, "Why would a loving God allow suffering?"

After years of pondering this question, I can't say I have a good answer, but I do have a better understanding of why a loving Father would have His child face difficulties. Looking at my own life, I recognize that even though I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death, God has always been with me.

I vividly remember September 11, 2001. It started off being a normal working and school day for many in New York City, but that terrifying day marked the start of a new era, when a different type of warfare became all too real for many in America and the rest of the world. Terrorists hijacked four commercial aircrafts in the United States. They flew one into the Pentagon in Virginia, and some brave passengers fought the hijackers of another plane that was rerouted to Washington, D.C. That plane crashed in Pennsylvania. The other two flew into the Twin Towers of the World Trade Centre in New York City. One in the north and the other in the south tower, which ranked as a couple of the tallest buildings in the United States at that time. Not long after they were hit, they both collapsed leaving a gaping hole in the hearts of those who lost loved ones and the skyscape of New York City.

I was taking the subway from Brooklyn to Bronx that morning. The train was stuck underground for a while and rumors started spreading through the cars. One lady said she had seen a plane hit the World Trade Center from her apartment building. Another complained about the big rats that we might have to confront if we had to get out and walk in the tunnel. The atmosphere started to get more and more unsettled, but I tried to block everyone out by reading my book. The driver shouted to the conductor through the radio to turn off the air conditioner. The conductor protested saying the people were hot. Then, the driver immediately retorted, “It is better they are hot, than they die.” He further explained that smoke and dust had filled the subway system. After, we slowly rolled into Wall Street where all passengers had to disembark.

As I emerged from the subway station I was enveloped by a thick powdery substance. I was unaware of what was happening. I blindly followed the crowd not knowing where I was going. This is not always the best idea, but at that point I didn’t feel like I had much of a choice. I was confused and wanted to get to a place where I could see and breathe comfortably. Something was definitely not right, but I did not know what. It was an eerie feeling and then suddenly I heard clanging sounds coming closer, then right in front of me I could see police crossing the street in full riot gear. What was happening? I still had no clue. While crossing one of the main streets, I looked to my right and I saw abandoned cars covered in dust. That's when I thought that this must be what the shadow of death was like. Out of nowhere, I heard planes overhead, people started running and screaming. I ran also, frightened and hoping for shelter as it seemed that we were under attack. I thought I was going to die. Later, I found out the planes were fighter jets sent in to protect the city.

I didn't die, but my life has never been the same. The events that unfolded on that infamous day, left the whole world in shock. Suffering became an intimate enemy. My good friend died among thousands that day. Hearing many stories of how people escaped death, raised questions of why God had not created circumstances for my friend and others to survive.

I had become a Christian just months earlier and this was way too much for me to bear. For days I could not pray. The next day, we went looking for my friend in the hospitals, but we didn’t find him. I was tired, sore and stressed. Over a year later, it was confirmed that my friend had died that terrible day.

Following this horrendous event, I developed chronic fatigue syndrome. I was tired all the time and could hardly stay awake. My legs tingled and my sore feet made it difficult to walk. I was told it was incurable. After a time, my chronic fatigue syndrome became easier to handle, and years later I was healed from it. Yes!!! God still heals.

I learned a lot from all these experiences. Everything seems to be lumped together, the good and the bad. It is never smooth sailing, but I know Jesus is in the boat with me. And, because of His presence, I can have peace in the midst of the storms. And, there will be storms, of that we are assured. Jesus told us we would be persecuted, and He doesn’t lie. Apostle James experienced this and wrote to the saints encouraging them to consider it joy when they face trials of many kinds (James 1:2). Our joy should not be impacted by circumstances. The Lord’s joy gives us strength to persevere through pain and persecution. The good times and the bad times are all for His glory.

In this life we will have sorrow. Without knowing sorrow, could we truly understand joy? Without chaos, could we comprehend peace? Without hate, would we cherish love? Without suffering, could we truly experience the glory of God and His grace?

But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because He suffered death, so that by the grace of God He might taste death for everyone. In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering. Hebrews 2:9-10

Our Savior suffered for us. This was His purpose and He did it for love. Being a Christian doesn't guarantee us a pain free life, actually it guarantees us that we will suffer. We will be persecuted for living a godly life.

Even, our God suffers. Jeremiah cried out to Him. “You are long-suffering—do not take me away; think of how I suffer reproach for your sake." Jeremiah 15:15

Jeremiah knew God is long-suffering and God tells us to be long-suffering also. Another word used for "patient" in some Bible translations is "long-suffering". Now, you know why I don't pray for patience. But, God seems to keep on answering prayers I do not pray and I get what I do not want - long-suffering. Yet it is a fruit of the spirit and it is essential for our walk with Christ as we take up our cross daily and share in His sufferings for the glory of God.

If we are Kingdom bound, the road is rough. I may not be happy about the circumstances in my life, but I can have joy despite the setbacks, knowing that God is just and right. Suffering is in His plan for my life, whether I like it or not. We all have to go through hurt in some way or the other, nevertheless, we choose our attitude through our hardships.

Now, I don’t want anyone to think that God takes pleasure in our pain. He doesn’t. He loves us immensely, and He hurts when we hurt. He is working all things for good – both favorable and unfavorable situations. We need to trust Him through it all.

I am not going to go search out suffering. It will find me in time. And when it does, I hope I will look at it as sweet suffering, knowing that its purpose is not only to make me like Jesus, but also to bring me closer to Him.