A couple years ago just before COVID broke out in Jamaica, God put it in my heart to write a book about marriage. Yes, I am single, and it may seem strange that I wrote a book on marriage, but it is called Marriage through the Eyes of a Single Christian Skeptic. I am often skeptical about matrimony because I have seen so many of these unions fail, but God showed me that this covenantal relationship must be done His way and that He put people together for His mission. Now, this also goes beyond marital relationships as God positions people in our lives and He also places us in other person’s lives for us to come together and accomplish His purposes.
And He summoned the twelve and began to send them out in pairs, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits; and He instructed them that they were to take nothing for their journey, except a mere staff—no bread, no bag, no money in their belt… And they went out and preached that people are to repent. And they were casting out many demons and were anointing with oil many sick people and healing them. Mark 6:7-8, 12-13
I must confess that for years I hated the verses that said Jesus sent his disciples out two by two. I wondered what was wrong with me why He sent me out alone to do ministry. Frankly, it didn’t seem Biblical to me, and I often questioned whether I was in God’s will. It was recently that God showed me He was protecting me and the ministry, and that is why I was alone. Not everyone had the vision He had given me and could fulfill the tasks how He wanted me to do them. Some people would probably do more harm to the work and the people I ministered to if I had partnered with them in ministry. The fact is, we should not partner with someone just because he or she is a Christian. I heard of a young man who believed God had called him to the mission field, however, he got married to a woman who did not have a heart for missions, so he could not achieve the vision that he felt God had given him. Relationships can build us or tear us down.
Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice, mend your ways, be comforted, be like-minded, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Corinthians 13:11
It is difficult to be at peace when you are not joined to someone who is like-minded. That person may even kill your God-given dreams. I know that may sound harsh, but I see so many people who are single who want to get married quickly, not realizing that if they marry the wrong person, they could encounter a lot of problems. I believe that when you are single that is the best time to find your identity in Christ and build a deep relationship with Him. This is also a good time to cultivate long lasting friendships outside of marriage. A single person on the mission field can fully focus on God, while a married person has to consider his or her spouse in every situation and so does not have as much freedom as a single person.
But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
Both being single and being married have their advantages and disadvantages. What is important is that whatever state we are in, we are content however God would have us. We should also spend undistracted times in God’s presence for Him to show us His purposes clearly as He guides us into His mission for our lives and strengthen us to carry out His vision. God has a plan for each of us. We are all different and so we should not try to fit in another person’s shoe or envy another person’s condition whether married or not. Things may not always be as they appear, and each person has their own struggles as they press forward towards the goal unto the prize of the high calling of God through Christ Jesus. (See Philippians 3:14). And as we press forward, relationships are important, so let us ask God to put us in right relationships to fulfill the mission He has for us and wait on Him to do so.
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