“What is wrong with my heart?” I have been asking this question a lot over the last few weeks after seeing a popular pastor who I respected step down from the pulpit because of an old sin and then not long after another celebrity pastor had to resign because of indiscretions committed decades ago. I have been shocked by so much of what has been happening in the Christian community. You may say that we should not judge, but it is important to read the whole of the Sermon on the Mount in context and not forget that the Book of Matthew was not written in chapter and verses as it was a letter. Jesus told the people that they needed to take the plank out of their eye before they can take the speck out of their brother’s eye. It is important to recognize that planks and specks need to be taken out of eyes. Before, Jesus had explained in what we now read as the previous chapter, Matthew 6, but what is actually a continuous thought about the eye that it is the lamp of the body and if the eye is good, then the whole body will be full of light, but if the eye is bad, the whole body will be full of darkness. That includes the heart.
I have been asking God to take anything out of my heart and life that is not pleasing to Him as God judges the motives of the heart and that is why our prayers are not answered sometimes because we ask with wrong motives. It doesn’t matter how much we look like a Christian and talk like a Christian. What truly matters is our heart and it can be deceitful above all things. But God is not fooled about the condition of our heart. This is why Jesus did not entrust Himself to man because He knew what was in their hearts. So often we run to man before we run to God, and this does not please Him. God was angry with King Asa of Judah when he went to the king of Syria instead of seeking Him, the King who is above every other king for help first. This is a heart problem. Why wouldn’t we go to the God who knows everything first instead of coming up with our own plans and ideas? Not every good idea is God’s idea, neither is every seemingly good work God’s work.
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ Matthew 7:21-23
Look at all the good works that appeared quite godly that these people did. And, they were even calling Jesus Lord, but He said He did not know them. That is scary for me. I could play the part of a Christian well, but God knows if my heart is not with Him. Having worked in Downtown Kingston, I have seen where people who have said they are Christians have caused more harm than good. I remember once, a Christian organization approached me to help one of the schools in the community for Labor Day. I gave the leader of the group the contact details of a small school for children ages two to six years old which was in need of a lot of help. The organization went there to assist, but after, they left even more problems for the school. I was so embarrassed. They had not kept their word to the principal about what they were going to do, and they had left the school in a mess. The principal and teachers had to clean up after this group left, leaving them more work to do. However, the organization was quite good at advertising all the work they did for this poor school. I saw similar situations happen far too often. Many Christian groups say they are helping, but it is for a show and not out of love. Their hearts are in the wrong place. The fact is that if we do all these seemingly good works, but we do it without love then it means nothing.
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:1-3
I don’t feel so loving sometimes and so this is why I have to pause to examine my heart. I don’t want what I say I am doing for the Lord to be meaningless before Him. I want to be a hearer of the Word and a doer of the Word in love. However, I must confess that being loving to someone who continually offends me is hard for me to do in my flesh and can only be done by the Holy Spirit in me because my flesh definitely doesn’t want to show love to that person. Nevertheless, I really do desire to do the will of the Father in love. Knowing the heart is deceptive, I need to do a heart check often to make sure I am in the Father’s will which is all about love. I don’t want to deceive myself by doing what I think are good works, but they don’t please the Lord because they are not His will, and they are not done from a heart of love. So, I continue to ask the question, “What is wrong with my heart?”
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