The Heart of Manipulation

Lately, I have been checking my heart to see if I am being manipulative or motivational when I give the children prizes to learn the Bible lessons and scriptures. Am I doing it because I want to control their thoughts and make them come to my way of thinking, or am I using these prizes to empower them to carry out God’s purpose in their lives? You can clearly see the first way would be selfish, while the latter would be selfless. And, am I teaching them that they must perform in order to be rewarded, instead of encouraging them to really want to memorize God’s word and keep it in their hearts? Unfortunately, manipulation has become a very big part of our everyday lives as it can be subtle. Interestingly, many of us would never go to a witch doctor or obeah man, yet some of us employ manipulation for our own gain. The Britannica denotes witchcraft as traditionally, the exercise or invocation of alleged supernatural powers to control people or events, practices typically involving sorcery or magic. Now, manipulation in the Cambridge Dictionary is described as controlling someone or something to your own advantage, often unfairly or dishonestly. There is that word again - control. Both deal with controlling people and situations for one’s own gain. Quite frankly, there is not much difference between the two.

Look around our society and you will see all forms of manipulation. The media is regarded as one of the greatest manipulators. But wives also manipulate husbands by withholding conjugal relationships, and husbands use intimacy as a tool to control their wives. Instilling fear to intimidate, wearing seductive clothing, or even doing good to get one’s goal can all be forms of manipulation. There are many people who may be generous givers in order to exert influence over another, even a number of powerful countries will use similar tactics to influence poorer countries. And let us not forget that religion can be quite a manipulative force. Recently, a number of prophets have been gaining lots of views, likes and subscribers as they lure lonely people to their channels and pages with their “God-given” word that the Lord is lining up Kingdom marriages. They will even give “prophetic” teachings on how their audience can position themselves and dress to attract those Kingdom spouses. Come on now, if God has a spouse for you, He will position you and you won’t even know it because you are just doing what you usually do – obeying Him. And, when Jacob first set his eyes on Rachel she was herding sheep. I don’t think she was in her finest apparel in order to dress to impress, yet he later worked fourteen years for her father to make her his bride. Rachel didn’t have to manipulate to gain Jacob’s love. We must remember that the devil is the father of lies and from the beginning he has been using deception to entice people’s flesh so that they get out of God’s will. Rachel’s sister, Leah along with their father, Laban manipulated Jacob, and when he thought he was marrying Rachel, he was actually getting Leah, who ended up longing for Jacob’s love, which was only towards Rachel. If we listen to false prophets it may result in us walking down the wrong path of manipulation and lies, thereby hurting ourselves and others.

“Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who enter through it. For the gate is narrow and the way is constricted that leads to life, and there are few who find it. “Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Grapes are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor figs from thistles, are they? Matthew 7:13-16

Manipulation is compromise which leads us through a wide gate to destruction. Too many people are listening to false prophets who are saying what they want them to say, instead of reading the Bible and obeying it because it may not be comfortable. Nothing worth having is going to be easy. In order get out from being influenced by or influencing others through a manipulative spirit we must wait on the Lord and commit ourselves to doing things His way.

Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; Do not get upset because of one who is successful in his way, Because of the person who carries out wicked schemes. Psalm 37:5,7

When we manipulate people and circumstances to get our desired result we show great lack of trust in the Lord. We actually put ourselves over Him, thinking He is not capable of doing what we want in our timing. This will cause unrest in our souls, which leads our flesh to rise up and take matters into our own hands, which sooner or later will lead to a lot of self-inflicted problems. Instead of trying to take control, we should commit our way to the Lord and trust Him to bring His purposes to pass in our lives. Too often we are getting in our own way when we deceive to get our desires. Waiting on the Lord is not easy, but it is of utmost importance to squelch the spirit of manipulation as it tries to rear its ugly head. We must trust God and let Him take control. We shouldn’t be envious of those around us who have what we would like because you never know how they came about getting what they have.

Even our prayers could be manipulation. Can you imagine manipulating God? I will confess there are times I have said certain types of prayers that others say will work to move God’s hand for me to get what I desire. Well you might have guessed that it didn’t work for me. I have had to face some unpleasant consequences when I have done things to try to get God to do what I would like Him to do. Many Christians will fast to obtain certain favors from God. As the New Year approaches a number of people are already planning what type of fast they will do in order to prosper for 2021. I am reminded that earlier this year “prophets” foretold that this was the year of 20-20 vision and double blessings. Well, I can truly say I do have clearer spiritual sight at this point in the year and my perspective on many so-called Christian prognosticators after these several months is that they may be suffering from distorted vision that is more focused on fleshly emotions rather than God’s plan. I look around and see so many who have been crushed under the pressures of COVID-19. Their hopes of prospering in 2020 have been dashed and they just want the year to be over. Many have not thrived because they did not adapt to change, but resorted to manipulation to keep things “normal” when there has been nothing normal about this year.

As we move forward, we must check that we do not carry over an old attitude of manipulation into the New Year. We must ask God to create in us a clean heart and renew in us a right spirit. (See Psalm 51:10) Therefore, we will then be able to be motivators and not manipulators.