That’s Just How I Am

Earlier this week I was on a prayer call. The father of the pastor who led the prayer is Jamaican. He was stating that people from the Caribbean will get angry and stop speaking to others and then say, “I am Caribbean, that’s just how I am.” He pointed out that this is not good, because this shows that they have not surrendered part of their lives to God. Interestingly, God taught me this lesson last year. I recognized how I was living out my culture in my life when God moved me a few thousand miles away from my homeland and started dealing with my heart showing me that it was reflecting my culture instead of His heart. God was speaking loudly to me about this through the situations around me.  A video on YouTube really put a lot in perspective for me and cemented what God was teaching me. In this video, the host recounted the break-up of a prominent Jamaican track club. He had taken a while to speak about this separation in the organization because he knew the two partners personally and recounted sadly that it was not only the breaking of an organization, but also of a friendship. He bemoaned the lack of interest in reconciliation as both were unwilling to sit and talk about their differences. Instead, they walked away not wanting to talk to each other anymore. This presenter saw this as being a part of the Jamaican culture in which friendships, marriages and organizations have broken apart because the parties involved will get angry with each other and walk away not wanting to speak to the other again.

Unfortunately, I have seen this played out in my life over and over again since I was a child and God showed me clearly that this characteristic of holding on to an offense, which is distinctive of my culture should not be a characteristic of His child as His kingdom has a different culture.  We have been told by the Word of God, not to be conformed to the world, but to renew our minds so that we can know how to be aligned with God’s will.

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2

I have had to be intentional about not being as aggressive and not holding on to an offense as is typical of my culture. And there are times I have failed, but more and more I am learning to stop and take a breath so that I can pray to see how God would want me respond in order for Him to get the glory. It is not easy because it goes against my nature, and so I have to be determined to kill my flesh daily and sometimes it is moment by moment as I remember I am a new creature in Christ, and I need to submit every area of my life to God and resist the devil.

Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”? But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Lament and mourn and weep! Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up. James 4:4-10

I have come to realize that I need to humble myself before God and submit my ways to Him. I should not be double-minded with one foot in my culture and another in Christ. As I write this, I remember that this was spoken about in church on Sunday. God really wants me to understand this lesson. And this doesn’t mean I must not separate from some people as God brings separation too. When Abram was told to leave his relatives behind, his nephew, Lot, went with him and after as their flocks grew there were arguments between their herders, so Abram suggested that he and Lot parted company. Lot chose the fertile land which was spiritually unfruitful and later Abram had to go rescue him, and after he had to escape from this land as God was going to destroy it. But God was with Abram, and he flourished in Canaan, where God had destined him to go in the first place.  Interestingly, he went into the land that God would show Him when Lot chose to go in the opposite direction. Lot’s choice worked right into God’s plan for Abram.  Paul also parted from Barnabas because of a strong disagreement about taking John Mark on the journey with them. So, there was a separation and Paul went with Silas while Barnabas went with Mark and the church grew. Later, Paul reunited with Barnabas and Paul wanted John Mark to be with him as he said that he was beneficial to him. It seemed like they all matured during this separation and came back together not keeping malice. This aided in the growth of God’s kingdom.

It is important to stop destructive cycles in whatever culture we are in. We should also not forget that we have cultures in churches and families that may not be of God and could cause a lot of problems. I was reading about the story of Jabez that could be easily missed in the genealogies. Nevertheless, there is a popular book about this prayer. Reading this prayer in the New King James Version, I found it different from many other versions as it showed Jabez praying for God to keep him from evil so that he may not cause pain, while other versions stated that he was the one who did not want to be harmed. Jabez’s mother gave him that name because she was in pain giving birth to him, but he prayed to God asking that he would not cause pain.

Now Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, “Because I bore him in pain.” And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!” So God granted him what he requested. 1 Chronicles 4:9-10

Jabez could have said, “That’s just how I am,” but he did not want to cause anymore pain. We often hear that “hurting people hurt people”. Evil perpetrated against us hurts us and as a result we may become aggressive, or we just stop talking to the one who offends us. There are times people are not even sure why someone will not speak to them or how they have offended the person. But because culture is influencing actions rather than Christ then hurt continues. And that is not the way it should be. When we say, “That’s just how I am,” we are not making Christ Lord and we are negating His power and authority in our lives. God is bigger than our culture and can transform our character. That’s just the way it is. But it is our choice to surrender our lives totally to Him so that He will have His way.