I Can't Believe

"I can't believe they shoot my dad,” was the shocking message I got while watching a celebratory service on Zoom. I immediately called the young man who wrote these alarming words. He explained to me that his father had just been shot a few minutes before, but didn’t know in what part of his body. We prayed together for his father, then I asked him who else got shot. He told me Charlie was killed. I couldn’t believe it. Just two days previously, I had passed Charlie while driving by in a taxi and he had called out to me. I said his name and waved, not knowing that would be my last greeting to him. Another man dead and more children made fatherless. When will it stop?

Not long after, while on the phone with a friend giving her account of the incident, I got a message from this relieved young man that his father was shot in the hand and he was going to be okay. Unfortunately, for many children things are not okay. Their fathers have been killed and they join the growing number of fatherless children in the country.

“I can’t believe that there is a good God who would make all these bad things happen.” I have tried to respond to this statement on numerous occasions that often comes as a question. “Why?” Frankly, there are times like these when my own faith wavers and I doubt God. How could He be working all things for good when our male population is being decimated and our children are being made fatherless? I feel like I am having a nightmare and I need to pinch myself to wake up. But, the nightmare is real and thousands of children are living in it. While speaking to a guidance counselor who I work closely with, she said that sometimes we just have to block it out or we will go mad. It is maddening. As my mind absorbs the reality of our children, I have had to veer my thoughts back to the truth of God. I know I cannot lean on my own understanding and His ways are not my ways. This would never be my way - so many dead. But, I have to trust in God’s character and that is He is good and abounding in love and mercy. His desire is for none of us to perish, but for all of us to have everlasting life. But, it comes down to our choice. We make the choice to follow Him and submit to His will, yet still we will have troubles of many kinds. But, He assures us that He will give us peace beyond all understanding. A peace that guards our hearts and minds. He will allow these horrible things to happen because He longs for us to draw close to Him and repent, turning from our wicked ways and seeking His face in humility. When things are going smoothly, we tend to forget the Lord, but our dire circumstances act as an impetus to remind us of Him.

As I speak to the residents in the neighborhood, including the children they echo similar sentiments - only God can make a difference now and change the community. Many want their children to come to church on Zoom, but connectivity is an issue. As usual, there always seem to be roadblocks to get closer to Jesus. The truth is God already has made a difference, but we have rebelled and refused to accept His ways. Many of our roadblocks are caused because we refuse to follow the Waymaker, so we along with many others, including the children, face the consequences of our own actions. We think we know better than our All-knowing God, when our thoughts are much lower than His.

I can’t believe that we cry out to God for help, yet we falter in following the principles He has laid out in the Bible. As a consequence, we along with our children suffer. We should not blame God when He already has outlined how to live in order to prosper in Him. Until we have a resolve to follow His way and to put our hope and trust in Him, then we won’t experience the change we desire.

Many of us know that only God can intervene and bring transformation, so let us now make a determination like David did.

My soul, wait in silence for God only, For my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be shaken. On God my salvation and my glory rest; The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah. Psalm 62:5-8