Over the weekend, I was watching a sermon, and I am not sure if it is because this pastor is half Jamaican, but he seemed to be speaking my thoughts. He was talking about when people in the church are asked how they are doing, many will reply, “I am blessed and highly favored.” But that is not how they really feel. Let’s get real. The fact is, many of these folks may feel condemned if they say what is going on in their hearts and their lives to their fellow brethren. Often people may ask as a trite greeting, however they don’t truly want to hear how you are doing. I am the type of person who may tell you just how I am doing even though I know that you don’t want to hear, but well you asked me. Seriously though, our churches need to be safe spaces where anyone can truly express how they are feeling, and these folks understand that those around them want to know what is happening in their lives. We need to have spiritually mature people in our churches who can deal with the messy issues of life just like how God allows us to divulge the hurt of our hearts to Him, even if it is not as eloquently expressed as the pain and the sorrow in the Psalms.
My tears have been my food day and night, while they continually say to me, “Where is your God?” When I remember these things, I pour out my soul within me. For I used to go with the multitude; I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept a pilgrim feast. Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance. Psalms 42:3-5
The sons of Korah in this Psalm are in deep anguish. There seems to be a struggle with God. Have you ever asked God where He is when you feel all hope is lost? Truthfully, I have. I have wrestled with God wondering what He is doing. But He has been gracious and has permitted me to voice the issues my heart to Him and then He restores my soul. The pastor used a phrase - “You sometimes have to deconstruct, to reconstruct.” There are times when things have to be broken down to be built back up. I remember times when God shook my faulty beliefs in Him for Him to restore me to His truth. When I just became a Christian, I thought of God as a taskmaster, but He gave me a gentle shaking so that I could have a different perspective of Him. I read this passage recently in Hosea and my heart leapt for joy.
“And it shall be, in that day,” says the Lord, “That you will call Me ‘My Husband,’ and no longer call Me ‘My Master’. Hosea 2:16
It was in the wilderness that God spoke comfort and hope to His rebellious people and He restored them to Himself. Who He was to them was changing through the challenges they endured. And that is what happened to me when I was in the Discipleship Training School. My leader had told me that I had a wrong perspective of God, but I didn’t believe him. Despite this, God used him to help show me a different view of Himself as a father and now I am learning to see Him as a husband. I must confess that there are times when knowledge eludes me, so I had to ask God how a father related differently than a husband. Ok, I am not that stupid. I do understand clear differences in the roles. However, the similarities as protector, provider, intercessor and leader were more pronounced to me. But again, even before I asked the question God had provided me with an answer and had to remind me of it. I had watched a Nigerian Christian movie a couple days before and one of the characters had said that a wife and husband were to be exposed before each other and they should have no secrets between each other as that causes problems in the relationships and affects their oneness. That was my answer. What I probably wouldn’t want to tell my father, I should be able to tell my husband. Therefore, I needed to get real and stay real with my God, as a husband. Inauthenticity hinders intimacy. So, I should not be hiding any dirty secrets from the Lord, because He is the One who will make me clean.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27
For the Lord to wash us, we need to reveal the naked truth to Him. This should be encouraged in our churches. And there should be mature Christians who we can trust to be real in front of, to speak about our fears, anxieties and any other issues without being condemned. They need to be a safe place where we can deconstruct so that we can be reconstructed to become that member of the body of Christ that is part of the glorious church not having spot or wrinkle, but holy and without blemish. This can only happen if we get real with them and more importantly with our God.
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