Being a missionary for over 10 years, I have learned to depend on God the hard way. I have seen God strip me of everything – people and possessions, to teach me very important lessons in depending on Him alone. Truthfully, this can be a very scary place to be, but it is vitally important for spiritual growth and the building of our faith. I have learnt that God specializes in dead situations. What is sometimes so difficult to comprehend is God’s lateness as our circumstances get worse. We wonder why He has forgotten us when we have cried out to Him in desperation. Yet, God sees and knows all things and like we see in John 11, He raised Lazarus after he was dead and in the tomb for four days. Jesus actually stayed two days longer in the place where He was after hearing of Lazarus’ sickness. Surely, He could have healed Lazarus. But, He had a greater plan to bring God glory. Lazarus had to die and even knowing that He would raise him from the dead, Jesus had compassion and wept along with the other mourners. God grieves when we are hurting, even though He understands there is purpose to the pain, and He will use this pain for His glory. God may seem late to us when our circumstances seem dead, but we must remember that He brings life out of death, so we can depend on Him.
Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; the one who believes in Me will live, even if he dies. and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25-26
Do we really believe this? Because if we did, we would not worry so much knowing that Jesus is all about life, even when we are struggling. We can depend on God in the worst situations when everything looks like it is going bad. We should never stop seeking Him in our darkest moments because He is the Light of the world.
My friend gave a testimony of his recent mission’s trip, which was the practical section of his discipleship training school. I am sharing with you below, excerpts of this testimony because I believe it will encourage you, just as it did me. He found out when all looks lost and when he was down to nothing God was always up to something.
Before we even started our trip, we ran into an obvious problem, none of us had the financial resources for this trip, our first bills for the entire trip, before leaving, showed us values that were too high for any of us. That's where God's first lessons began for us on how to depend on Him in practice… Sometimes God puts us in situations that seem impossible to us, He purposely leaves us powerless with a bitter taste in our mouths to teach us a lesson. The lesson is - He is the one in control. We are all too stubborn to understand this. The money and resources we need to survive speak very loudly in everyone's heads and sometimes we turn our needs into an idol and fill ourselves with excuses to justify ourselves.
This is not a new thing that started to exist yesterday. Jesus is talking about exactly that when He tells His disciples, “Don’t worry about your own life, what to eat". But we are masters at putting our needs and our need for control over everything… Sometimes He Himself takes us out of our security, to show us who really has control over all things and over our lives, and sometimes He brings us to our knees because He knows that the heart has become too hard to understand that all the resources come from Him, no matter how much effort we make.
And He said to His disciples, “For this reason I tell you, do not worry about your life, as to what you are to eat; nor for your body, as to what you are to wear. Luke 2:22
Luke 12:22 was always on my mind during the entire trip until the moment God opened my eyes to see what He was doing, and from then on, my focus was always on observing God's care for us in every detail that I could find. My daily practical concern was to know if I had my heart in the right place in every detail, from cleaning, planting and harvesting to a warning from the leadership. The theme of the school was metanoia, which means change of mind. It is impossible to be in a condition like this and not find things to be corrected. We are flawed. We sin. And when we are open-hearted God shows us His way, very clearly and specifically, that we align our behavior with His will. This is what Jesus says God expects us to do:
But seek His kingdom, and these things will be provided to you. Luke 12:31
Are we willing to seek God’s Kingdom first and let Him provide all we need, or do we believe we need to frantically find ways to provide for ourselves? Are we willing to go where God sends us, and do what God tells us, with little resources and people thinking we are crazy? Can we wholly depend on God and trust that He will take care of us as we obey His Word, no matter how scary things may seem?
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